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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25073335">Transparency</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatEsqCrush/pseuds/ThatEsqCrush'>ThatEsqCrush</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, College Life, Drinking, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:54:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,566</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25073335</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatEsqCrush/pseuds/ThatEsqCrush</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvard! Barba gets jealous when you offer to help tutor a fellow student. Harvard/College AU.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rafael Barba/Reader, Rafael Barba/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Transparency</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A knock on the door interrupted your studies. Your study partner looked at you and you shrugged as you jogged towards the door and opened it. To your surprise, your boyfriend, Rafael was on the other side. Rafael was clad in his typical uniform: a maroon Harvard hoodie and jeans. His hair was mussed, a tell tale sign that he had been stressed.</p><p>“Rafi? What are you doing here? I thought you had that big international relations paper?” You cocked your head in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>“I finished my first draft,” Rafael replied with a shrug. “I figured we could go to the hall and grab some dinner.” He looked past you and saw you weren’t alone. “Am I interrupting something?” he asked nervously.</p><p> </p><p>You looked at your study partner and excused yourself, stepping out into the hall and shutting the door almost completely, leaving just a small opening.</p><p> </p><p>You looked at Rafael quizzically, before bursting into laughter. “Mike? Oh, we’re just studying for our property final next week.”</p><p> </p><p>“Again? That’s like the third time this week. Can’t anyone else help him?” Rafael questioned, shifting his weight. He shoved his hands into his back pockets and rocked on his heels.</p><p> </p><p>“Babe, it’s finals,” you reasoned.</p><p> </p><p>“So, no on dinner?” Rafael ignored your reply.</p><p> </p><p>You frowned, shaking your head. “No babe. I’m sorry. We’re probably going to be at it for a couple of more hours. Rain check? Tomorrow?”</p><p> </p><p>Rafael swallowed hard and looked back at your study partner once more, who was going through some flash cards. “Uh, yeah, sure.”</p><p> </p><p>You smiled brightly. “Thanks for understanding. I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you.” You pressed a kiss to his lips, but Rafael didn’t return the kiss. You could sense something was bothering him. “Babe, is everything okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Rafael looked at you, his initial expression was stoic but then his face relaxed, as if all the tension just magically disappeared. “Yeah; just stressed and tired. Hungry.”</p><p> </p><p>You ran your hands through his hair, down his cheeks and then to hood of his sweatshirt and tugged on the collar. “Go eat and get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”</p><p> </p><p>Rafael nodded and kissed your cheek. “Tomorrow then.”</p><p> </p><p>You smiled, before turning and ducking back into your room.</p><p> </p><p>****</p><p>The following day, you and Rafael spent almost every waking moment together. You walked along the quad towards the student center, hand in hand. Whatever tension was there yesterday, was gone. Rafael seemed to be in a better mood.</p><p> </p><p>As you approached the student center, Mike came into focus. “Hey y/n! Thanks for your help last night.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure thing. Oh, by the way, this is my boyfriend Rafael. Rafael, this is Mike Reddick. You sort of met him last night.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey. Nice to meet you.” Rafael greeted.</p><p> </p><p>Mike nodded. “You’ve got yourself a great gal,” he acknowledged. “Really knows her stuff. Saved my ass.”</p><p> </p><p>Rafael wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close. “She really is. I’m a lucky guy.” His comment was clipped and you could sense the return of that awkward tension. You looked at Rafael quizzically, before returning to Mike.</p><p> </p><p>“So let me know if you need anymore help, but I think you’ll be okay. I feel like you understood the materials.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks. Oh, hey! By the way, my roommates and I are throwing a huge kegger tomorrow night. You should come. I live on 285 Third Street. Nine o’clock.”</p><p> </p><p>“Awesome, we’ll be there, right Rafi?” You looked up at your boyfriend. He forced a grin. “Wouldn’t want to miss it.”</p><p> </p><p>You said your goodbyes and continued on your way to the student center so you could check on your mail and grab some coffee.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>“Jump Around” blasted on the stereo so loudly you could feel the room vibrate. You wore ripped denim shortalls with a black crop top underneath. Your hair was pulled back in a Dutch braid. Rafael wore his standard, except this time he wore a New York Yankees hoodie. You teased Rafael that he had a target on his back in the heart of Red Sox Nation.</p><p> </p><p>You and Rafael made your way through the crowded house, filled with party-goers. You recognized some classmates and said hi, as you led Rafael through the sea of people. The two of you made your way to the kitchen where Mike was chugging back a beer with some other guys.</p><p> </p><p>Mike’s eyes lit up as he saw you. “Hey guys! Glad you could make it. Want a beer? Just tapped this beaut,” he shouted over the loud music. He banged on the barrel, the metal clanging.</p><p> </p><p>Two red solo cups made their way to you and you skimmed off the foam, flicking your hand towards the floor. “Thanks,” you half-shouted in response.</p><p> </p><p>Rafael was miserable. He knew he had no reason to be jealous of Mike but something about seeing you with him unnerved him.</p><p> </p><p>A few hours later, Rafael found you talking to Mike, your head thrown back in laughter. He couldn’t make out what you were talking about, but it was clear you were interested in whatever was being discussed. The two of you were oblivious to Rafael’s presence. Deep down Rafael truly believed you wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, whether on purpose or not. But still, watching you with Mike brought up his insecurities and unresolved anger with Yelina.</p><p> </p><p>Rafael turned around and headed outside to breathe. Outside a young couple was making out while another group played beer pong along the porch. Rafael bummed a smoke off another student and he let out a long puff of smoke, trying to get out of his own head.</p><p> </p><p>“Rafi? You out here?”</p><p> </p><p>Rafael turned at the sound of your voice. “Yeah, I am here.”</p><p> </p><p>Seeing the cigarette bud in Rafael’s hand, you frowned. Rafael only smoked when he was upset. You had two new red solo cups in your hands.</p><p> </p><p>“Whatcha doing out here? I’ve been looking all over for you?” you replied as you handed him a beer. “I missed you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Missed me? O-kay,” Rafael replied, the “o” was drawn out, and the “kay” was clipped. “You seemed to be having tons of fun with Mike,” Rafael sneered. “Why don’t you be with him since you like spending so much time with him? Shouldn’t you be studying?”</p><p> </p><p>You felt as if all of the air was sucked out and your cheeks felt hot. If Rafael was honest with himself, he would have seen a flash of hurt in your eyes.</p><p> </p><p>You reacted without thinking and you threw your beer in Rafael’s face. Rafael appeared momentarily stunned. The beer pong crowd murmured and whistled at your actions. Even the couple that had been making out stopped to stare.</p><p> </p><p>Rafael reached out for you but you shirked back. “No. Nothing is going on between him and I. Mike is just a friend. What? You can’t trust me?” You replied angrily.</p><p> </p><p>Rafael opened his mouth but found himself at a loss for words. Instead he averted his eyes, and looked at the ground. He took a long drag of his cigarette.</p><p> </p><p>Your eyes narrowed. “So that’s how it is? Fine. Do NOT follow me home. I can get on all by myself,” you hissed.</p><p> </p><p>As you walked back to your dorm, your mind reeled from Rafael’s comments. You didn’t turn around but you knew Rafael followed you back to campus.</p><p> </p><p>Rafael watched as you swiped your keycard back to your dorm. He then made his way back to his dorm. Once in his room, he removed his soiled sweatshirt and t-shirt and tossed them into the hamper before changing into his pajama bottoms and a clean t-shirt. He ran his hands through his hair before rubbing his face. “What did I do?” he groaned, trying to sleep. Sleep was futile and he tossed and turned the whole night. He couldn’t get the hurt look on your face out of his mind.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>The next morning, you sat in your common room, on the crappy futon your roommate, Sheila had found secondhand. You spooned and stirred your cereal, willing yourself to eat but you didn’t have much of an appetite.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s so unlike him. What gives?” Sheila asked as she poured herself a bowl of cereal. You shrugged in response. “Maybe finals are getting to him.”</p><p> </p><p>“That still doesn’t justify a cheating accusation. Has he ever been jealous before?” Sheila asked, taking a place next to you.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” you sighed. “He had one other girlfriend in high school but that was it. He’s never really talked about her though. To be fair, I’ve never asked. I’ve never had reason to…”</p><p> </p><p>“Until now,” Sheila finished for you.</p><p> </p><p>You nodded. You stood and put your bowl back on the table in front of you. “Not hungry. I still smell like a frat house - I am going to go shower.”</p><p> </p><p>You made your way back into your room and changed into a wrap-around towel. Grabbing your caddy and shipping into flip-flops, you headed to the door to shower. When you opened the door, Rafael was there - his fist raised to knock on your door.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” you greeted coolly.</p><p> </p><p>“Y/N - can we talk?” Rafael asked softly. “Please?” He added for good measure.</p><p> </p><p>You shook your head. “Now isn’t a good time. I’m going to shower. Can we meet in 30 minutes at the coffee shop?”</p><p> </p><p>Rafael nodded. “Sure. Love you.”</p><p> </p><p>You sucked in a breath. “Do you now?” You shook your head sadly and headed to the communal showers, leaving Rafael once again.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Rafael sat at the coffee shop, two coffees - a drip for him and a soy latte for you, accompanied him. Glancing out the window, he spotted you bounding up the stairs, wearing a flower print babydoll dress with a black t-shirt underneath.</p><p> </p><p>His leg twitched nervously and he took out the photo he had brought with him from his pocket. It was a picture of him, Alex, and Eddie on graduation day - the three Musketeers of Jerome Avenue. Yelina was in front of him, his arm was wrapped around her and she held onto the arm that was wrapped around him. Yelina was beautiful and she knew it from early on. She had all the boys of Jerome Avenue wrapped around her finger and Rafael couldn’t believe that she she chose him - the scrawny kid that was always getting picked on. In hindsight, Rafael knew she was just trying to get to Alex, the more popular one of their little trio. But still, Rafael was not immune to the naïveté that accompanies first love.</p><p> </p><p>So when Rafael left for Harvard, they tried to make it work. Yelina broke things off, during winter break his second year at Harvard telling him she couldn’t handle long distance and that all she needed was in New York anyway. And then, at Eddie’s family’s Nochebuena party, he caught Alex and Yelina hooking up on the fire escape. Eddie eventually confessed that the pair had been hooking up the entire time Rafael had been away.</p><p> </p><p>After getting his heart all twisted with Yelina back at home, he threw himself into his studies - he was ready to prove everyone wrong. That he too, could accomplish great things and give back to the community. Then, by happenstance that spring semester, in Economic Analysis, he saw you. You were the prettiest girl in the whole class. So when your professor said that you needed help with finals, he jumped at the chance to help.</p><p> </p><p>To his delight, you had a crush on him too - you made it known when you kissed him in the library. You were the complete opposite of Yelina. Unlike Yelina, you were unbelievingly kind and didn’t seem to have a mean bone at all in your body - not that you were a pushover; you held your own. Rafael knew that from the times you and him did argue. But you both always talked out; things never lasted long. But there was something about this - he wasn’t sure if the two of you would recover from. He hoped he was wrong.</p><p> </p><p>Your heart pounded as you approached the table. Rafael looked remorseful and he stood up, as you got closer.</p><p> </p><p>“You look nice,” Rafael replied softly.</p><p> </p><p>You cocked your brow at him. “That’s what you’re opening with?” You sighed in frustration and sat down. “Thanks for the coffee.”</p><p> </p><p>You wrapped your hands around the still hot mug and lifted it to your lips.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Rafael apologized. “I’m sorry that I acted like a prick. I’m sorry that I lost my cool. And I am sorry for accusing you of something and not talking to you about it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry for throwing my beer at you,” you apologized in return. “So, what do we do now?” you asked softly. “You hurt me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want you to leave. I wanna make things different,” Rafael replied.</p><p> </p><p>“What the hell was that by the way?” you asked.</p><p> </p><p>Rafael reached for the picture and with his index and middle finger, pushed it your way.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s Yelina. We broke up last semester. She cheated on me. I thought I was over it. Really, I did. But then I saw you with Mike. I don’t know. It brought up a lot of unresolved issues. He kept going on about how what a great person you are-.”</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not wrong you know,” you replied, with a wink.</p><p> </p><p>“I was afraid I’d lose you,” Rafael exhaled.</p><p> </p><p>“I need transparency. You need to tell me about these things, so we can talk to them like adults,” you replied staring hard at the picture. “Besides, I was only helping Mike with finals. You can trust me. He has a girlfriend at Bowdoin, by the way.”</p><p> </p><p>Rafael nodded. “I’m sorry. I know I can trust you.” He took a sip of his coffee. “Are we going to be okay?”</p><p> </p><p>He reached for your hand and you let him take it. He squeezed your hand and you squeezed it back. You looked at him, and then back at the picture. “You know what they say right?”</p><p> </p><p>Rafael furrowed his brows. “No, what?”</p><p> </p><p>You spun the picture back at him and tapped on Yelina’s face. “The bigger the hoop earring, the bigger the hoe,” you winked as you took a large gulp of coffee. Rafael coughed, and sputtered coffee all over the table. He wiped himself and and looked at you incredulously.</p><p>You sighed and ran your hands through your hair. “Look, we’ll be okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Rafael squeezed your hand once more. “I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know you do. I love you too,” you replied with a small smile. “Want to get out of here?”</p><p> </p><p>Rafael nodded and gave you a lopsided grin. Standing, you reached for his hand and Rafael took it. Standing, he pulled you into a hug. Rafael breathed in your scent and pressed a kissed to the top of your head.</p><p> </p><p>You pulled away to return the coffee cups. You nodded your head towards the exit. “Come on, let’s go.”</p><p> </p><p>Rafael followed you and quickly caught up with you in just a few strides. The two of you interlocked hands. Rafael pressed a kiss to your fingers. Rafael and you were both happy to have your relationship moving forward and that this was all behind you. You both knew with each others love and continued open communication, you could get through anything.</p><p>FIN</p>
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